


Social Lego

by voidEnthusiast



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Played Wholesome, Gen, Humanstuck, Libraries, Trans Female Character, caliborn being supportive in his own chaotic evil way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29417502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidEnthusiast/pseuds/voidEnthusiast
Summary: Call Caliborn whatever you like, but at least he’s not transphobic. He calls his sister a bitch almost every day.
Relationships: Caliborn & Calliope (Homestuck)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Social Lego

**Author's Note:**

> Sincerest apologies...
> 
> (Title from c418's "One")

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began pestering undyingUmbrage [uu] at 14:32 --

UU: caliborn, can i ask a small favor of yoU?

uu: YOu ABSOLuTE BITCH. WHAT THE FuCK IS IT THIS TIME.

UU: so, i have been feeling a bit Under the weather lately...

uu: AND?

UU: the sUpport groUp's monthly meeting is right aroUnd the corner, and i really don't want to miss this one since there's apparently someone new coming, bUt i also don't want to give my flU to anyone else there!

uu: ARE YOu REFERRING. TO YOuR OSTENTATIOuS ASSORTMENT. OF LIKE-MINDED FEMALES.

UU: yes!

UU: ('ostentatioUs'? serioUsly, caliborn? :P)

UU: tomorrow at 9 pm, can yoU go over to the library and bring yoUr laptop to conference room 2? the others will show yoU how to set Up a remote video call with me!

uu: I DON'T EVEN HAVE A LIBRARY CARD.

UU: yoU only need that to check oUt books, silly! anyone who wants to can walk right into a library!

uu: ...

uu: YOu WILL HAVE TO OWE ME ONE.

uu: IN FACT. NOT JuST ONE. YOu WILL OWE ME SEVERAL DIFFERENT "ONES".

uu: ONES. IN THIS SCENARIO. REPRESENTING FAVORS.

uu: JuST TO BE CLEAR.

uu: BuT.

uu: I'LL DO IT.

UU: thank yoU! ^u^

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

///

And then Caliborn actually goes through with it, for whatever reason. Damn sister and her constant guilt-tripping.

HEY! WHERE THE BITCHES AT? he calls from the main lobby of the library. A girl in a "Pir8s Are Fucking Awesome" t-shirt and some multicolored striped pins rescues him from the diabolical clutches of swarms of furious librarians, barely holding in her laughter.

With a bit of help from Callie's friends (read: Caliborn does some of the typing while they do all the work), the video call is set up adequately. He stands around awkwardly as the typical chatter is made.

Callie's voice crackles through the terrible library basement wifi. oh, i see there's a brand new member with Us today! who might this lovely lady be?

A girl with a garish blue hoodie and square glasses shrugs. not sure. i've been thinking about "june" or "janine" lately.

The females squeal and gush over each other hideously. Caliborn escapes their haze of gross positive emotions and wanders into the Japanese section of the library.

On a shelf, all alone, lies a book titled 'How To Draw MANGA'. The wench on the cover has, by some sorcerous miracle, been drawn to look like she is bursting out of the paper.

Perhaps Caliborn, too, can learn the witchery of the East. He scrounges an old pencil from his pocket and some paper from a printer nearby. It is time to begin what Callie so often refers to as _the creative process_.

///

Well, it's not the Mona Lisa, but by the time the females have finished cackling and cooing over each other or whatever it is they actually talk about in there, Caliborn has managed to make some artwork that's a definite step up from his usual barely decipherable jagged lines. It's time to check the book of masterpieces out so he can continue his work at home.

Just one problem: as he told Callie earlier, he doesn't have a library card. He could register for one, but he doesn't want to deal with those librarians from earlier again for longer than absolutely necessary.

Oh, yeah, he forgot. He already stole his sister's library card the other day. Well, that's a problem that is no longer a problem.

All in all, he ponders, driving June home because Callie complained at him via text that she had actUally *walked* to the library all the way over from the other side of the city, throUgh some pretty shady parts of town, and i jUst don't want to see harm to one hair on her cUte little head! and despite himself, he really does feel bad about the library card -- well, that thought got away from him fast, but all in all, a good library trip. He should really get out more.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, constructive criticism is more than welcome, especially considering the potentially problematic nature of this one.
> 
> Have a reward for your continued literacy: [( X )](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGj_HkKhhSE)


End file.
